For years I have felt like the only way for me to be taken seriously, be seen as a kind person, or have any value- is for me to give myself to others. Somewhere along the way I learned that my inherent value to others was martyrdom and sacrifice. Maybe I learned it from my mother who never knew when to stop (to the detriment of her family), or maybe through the endless times I was called selfish for setting boundaries and saying no. Regardless of how this message weaved itself into my very being, I'm learning lately of how very destructive martyrdom is. It isn't honourable at all.