OKAY BUT CAN WE HAVE A SHARE CIRCLE REAL QUICK?!
I'm really curious about your experiences with tarot, oracle, spiritual awakenings, making contact with the other side, all of it!
What has your experience been like? Did anything trigger this relationship? Did you have any weird ass experiences at first? Do you have a really cool story to share? Did you ever get flu-like symptoms? Did you ever get scared and wanna back off?
I'm dying to hear your stories because I feel like I entered a vortex of mystical shit and my brain is exploding and melting lmao.
I've always been around mystics. My grandmother is a "medium" but she calls herself intuitive. She's done this for a living her whole life and actually used to work with local police forces to find missing children. She kinda ruined my image of mediums because she had NO FUCKING SELF AWARENESS and would constantly read people without asking and super traumatize you out of nowhere. She would always try and read my mind and invade me and bring up things I wasn't okay to talk about. My mother is also extremely spiritual and tapped right in. Also lacking in that same respect. All growing up I used to be deathly afraid of spirituality. Like DEATHLY AFRAID because I felt like I was living in a portal all the time. I always felt spirits, I never felt alone, weird shit was always happening in my house and my sister and mom would often have the same dreams without even knowing it. Spirits would just be walking around my house and my grandmother, mom, and sister were just chill about it?!??!?! Figures though because they have never understood boundaries. They really, really muddied my perspective on how spiritual people make you feel. Hence why I refused to call myself that til I was 28.
ME HOWEVER- I think I was so scared because I knew it was real, I still had my reservations but I couldn't deny what I was hearing, seeing, and feeling. I was constantly talking to these spirits and telling them to leave me the fuck alone, I'm not open, I don't want to connect, I don't want to see you.
One day when I was maybe 18, 19 I remember my mom and I talking about this lucid dream she had where she woke up as if she weren't dreaming and there were snakes all over our house- The Craft style. Later in the day my sister randomly told me about this dream she had where she woke up and there were snakes all over the house.. they both told me separately and hadn't talked. I felt SICK!!!!! So that night I laid in bed and I was like "Okay, fuckers.. if you're real and you want to connect present yourself to me" and I went to bed. I "woke up" in this weird haze and there was this woman in white hovering over my bed, kinda looked like me.. but dead. Like the girl from The Ring. I was actually paralyzed. So I shut my eyes so hard they hurt and I felt this weird feeling like footsteps coming up my bed and on my leg up to my chest and then I felt this intense weight like I couldn't breathe. I was so... fucking... terrified.
Part of me doesn't know what that was but the other part of me does. Ever since that day I went back to "leave me alone, I'm not open, I don't want to see you" and they left me alone. I intentionally rejected, disconnected, and pushed away from the very essence of my entire maternal ancestry.
So here I am. SO much has happened along the way, I've been on this spiritual awakening journey for what feels like a century- but is really 3 years. I started by getting really comfortable in my own skin, and as most of you have seen that has been incredibly painful too. So many clients come to me with a million problems and by the end of the call I can usually trace them all back to a lack of relationship and connection with self. If we're really connected, I mean REALLY CONNECTED to our body, our intuition becomes a fact-checker, our love of self becomes a priority, our connection to source is unbreakable. My body and I were oil-and-water enemies until this year.
I feel like I was a spiritual wifi tower and my signal was turned off for decades. How the hell could my guides find me if I'm not even open to receiving the message?
WELL HOLY SHIT MY FRIENDS I THINK THEY GOT THE MESSAGE I'M OPEN AGAIN LMAO. I'm still experiencing the emotions from the last two weeks but I'll share my journey about this more on podcast episodes and through this blog in the upcoming weeks.
I really appreciate your patience and support with me while I'm growing, it's actually really fucking hard to manage everything. I kinda feel like I say that every month which tells me that the expectation I'm setting for myself is way higher than the one you have from me. Never ONCE have I ever gotten a complaint about my work, it always compliments, and yet every single month I'm crying to Zee about how I'm not doing enough. I found a virtual assistant to start next month so we're lubing up for a smoother 2020.
Sometimes I feel like a juggler with a crowd a people who love my act, so I keep adding more balls and more balls and more balls to the show to keep everyone entertained and everyone's like "Hey dude, you're doing great, there's really no need to go that hard" and I'm like "WHAT'S THAT?! YOU WANT ME TO ADD A BASKETBALL AND A BLOW TORCH?! OKAY, I HEAR YOU!!!!"
The exhausting life of perfectionist imposter syndrome lmao. But, I digress.
IM SUPER CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO SPIRIT, YOUR WEIRD STORIES, YOUR RITUALS, ALL OF IT!!!!!!
(p.s. once Grow Your Wings starts I will be opening up more 1:1 session slots, spots for September Grow Your Wings, PLUS I will be sharing the date for the August Puss Party on Patreon Only so that you all get first dibs)