"It is better to be taught how to know than what to know" - me, bitch
Hello, my loves!
I wanted to pull 2 pages from one of my Grow Your Wings guides for you all because I feel it's super relevant to our climate. At least 2-3 times a week I've had sessions with people where I've basically needed to rehab them from shitty and ineffective coaches, mentors, spiritual advisors, teachers, or guides. It's sad, it breaks my heart. Having an influential person come into your life during a major vulnerable transition and take advantage of you can set you back in time, energy, finances, self-esteem and passion- it can be a traumatic betrayal. I've been there, too.
I've written this blog many times with the focus being on spiritual narcissism, but it didn't fit, it's so much bigger than that. I had to take a week to really calm myself down because anytime I catch someone taking advantage of others I can react super aggressively. I've learned to step back and make sure I don't act tooooooo out alignment- just a lil. (thank you spicy Scorpio moon)
It's always been a thing, but I'm extremely protective of my circles and if I get a sense that someone's shit doesn't add up, I can't unfeel it or unsee it. I might gaslight myself a little, deny it a little, patiently watch for patterns for a little, maybe that person even thinks they're getting something over my head for a little, but I see, I feel, I know.
And then I act.
And how I act isn't out of spite or malicious intent. It's fierce, loving protection. And I will not let myself boil it down to calling individuals out or being petty (again, just a LIL) it's going to be through education and empowerment. Maybe I can't take down or call out every opportunistic asshole in coaching/ wellness/ spiritual communities but I can absolutely make sure the community I'm building feels empowered with their own bullshit detector. We need to ensure that we're overflowing with healthy tools, language, perspectives, and support so that inauthentic leaders don't even have a space to thrive.
So that's my commitment. I won't always initially react from my highest self- and who really does- but I can commit to pausing, checking myself, and making sure that I build up the collective instead of focusing on tearing down an individual. And trust me I am really fucking tempted to do the latter :).
People who are inauthentic, take advantage, use people, or misguide their community will always show their asses eventually, so let's make sure we have the lens on to see when it's happening.
This is a short exercise you can do to check in with yourself and how you relate to all relationships in your life, including me. No one should be put on a pedestal as if they know more than you, and if there's anyone who's telling you that empowerment is outside of your own personal gifts- they're a fraud.
K LOVE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, hope to see you this weekend <3